Dr. Edith Eger, a well-respected psychologist, has written two books, The Choice and The Gift, and has specialized in treating people with severe trauma.

These are some valuable notes for awareness and wisdom.

* Awful things happen to us and they hurt. These devastating experiences are also opportunities to regroup and decide what we want for our lives.
* Healing comes from freeing ourselves from certain thoughts and feelings that keep us trapped in the trauma.

* Freeing yourself from victimhood – “Suffering is universal but victimhood is optional.” …instead of asking “Why me?” we can ask “What now?”
* Freeing yourself from unresolved grief – It is important to let yourself grieve. Neither denying it nor being totally absorbed by it is healthy. Resolving grief means to release our sense of responsibility for all the things that weren’t up to us and to come to terms with the choices we have made that cannot be undone.
* Freeing yourself from resentment – Often the anger and resentment we have toward another may have more to do with our own issues resulting from unresolved grief or unfinished business.
* Freeing yourself from paralyzing fear – Many of us live a fear-based life. Our thoughts and behaviors are rooted in fear…living in constant fear keeps us from growing. Sometimes fear does not go away, but the best we can do is keep it from totally dominating our lives.
* Freeing yourself from judgment – We should look inward and examine the judgments we hold for ourselves as well as others. If we are being judgmental, we are unable to be compassionate.
* Freeing yourself from hopelessness – There is always hope. What we hope for may change with time, but hope is always there. It helps to remember that we have survived difficult situations before and that we can do it again.
* Freeing yourself for not forgiving – Forgiveness is something that we do for ourselves, not for others. When we do so, it frees us from the past. Releasing our anger and the people who have harmed us in the past can help to set us free.

* The search to make meaning in my life by helping others to make meaning, to heal so that I could heal others, to heal others so that I could heal myself.
* Suffering is inevitable and universal. But how we respond to suffering differs.
* The truth is, we will have unpleasant experiences in our lives, we will make mistakes, we won’t always get what we want. This is part of being human.
The problem—and the foundation of our persistent suffering—is the belief that discomfort, mistakes, disappointments signal something about our worth.
* Self-acceptance was the hardest part of healing for me.

Sources:
1. Twelve Steps for Healing Trauma..from Dr. Edith Eger’s “The Gift”; Psychology Today, Nov 2020
2. How to cope with grief..; Business Insider, Nov 2020
3. The Choice, Dr. Edith Eger