Coaching – Page 3

Category: Coaching (page 3 of 5)

Our Fundamental Choice

April 11, 2015 / Tojo Eapen / 1 Comment

We’ve completed a hectic first quarter in 2015. I was reflecting on how fast the new year has gone by. The demands and hectic pace of business environment are back.

To stay on course, I try to constantly reflect on my deep personal experiences in recent times, exploring new directions, on mortality, meaning of life, connects with diverse groups of wise individuals, moving back home after almost a decade of being away, and all the changes at various levels. I also try to remind myself constantly to not get caught into the typical thought process and trappings of a rat race.

When the going was tough, the one thing that I felt thankful for was my conscious choice and accountability for own actions. The key was that they were aligned to what I felt was truly important to me. That ensured commitment, engaged action and a feeling of fulfillment. Over time, it was really valuable to learn to not take failures personally and work through them as great development experiences.

My humble suggestion for those who feel caught in between decisions, or are fighting with challenges. Be aligned with what is really important for yourself, listen to your soul, forget about peer or societal pressure and expectations, and focus actions in your chosen direction – it will help you sail through both great and tough times with increasing inner strength, even if the external world judges differently. Life is and generally will continue to be a mix of ups and downs but we all hold the capability to positively influence and impact other lives.

Possibilities for change are always on the horizon. We learn a lot about ourselves in the process, especially while going through a rough patch. We have the choice in how we let our experiences define us.

Best wishes…

Posted on LinkedIn on April 4, 2015

Seeing Opportunities Or Threats?

February 4, 2015 / Tojo Eapen / 2 Comments

We all go through numerous changes, people and scenarios in our work and personal life.

In every new environment or scenario, we have multitude of thoughts, feelings and emotions. Many of this are influenced by our conditioning, habits and natural tendencies.

As a result, we tend to see things in a certain manner.

The wise teachings from the past do indeed play an important role everyday in our lives — “What we see in the world is to a large extent a reflection of what lies inside us.”

We tend to see people, environments and situations from our own perspectives and world views. This can be a strength many times depending on how well we’ve developed our valuable point of view and awareness through experience, reflection and learning. This may also be a major weakness.

Neuroscience studies seem to indicate that we tend to pick up or read threats in our environment more easier than opportunities. In a threat state, our brains don’t work effectively. Fear plays tricks with our memory and our perception of reality.

Individuals and organizations may lose a lot of valuable energy focusing on threats (especially internally), rather than opportunities. This may result in turf wars, personal conflicts, lack of collaboration and stress. If we were to consciously shift our focus to the possibilities and opportunities, our intent to ‘flourishing’ increases. Dr. Martin Seligman identifies five endeavors crucial to human flourishing — positive emotion, engagement, good relationships, meaning and purpose in life, and accomplishment (PERMA). Our ability to work well with other people in a group depends on our ability to appreciate other individuals’ emotions.

When we start consciously focusing on the opportunities, the environment or people around seem to become less threatening. Our outlook and capacity to influence increases. We inspire people around us to move to a higher energy spectrum.

References
1. Fear in the brain
http://discovermagazine.com/2003/mar/cover
2. Your Brain At Work, David Rock
3. Flourish: The Father of Positive Psychology Redefines Well-Being
http://www.brainpickings.org/2011/04/05/martin-seligman-flourish/
4. Why Organizations Fail
http://fortune.com/2013/10/23/why-organizations-fail/

A Different Approach To Career Management

Most people tend to think about their career progression and growth in a linear manner – i.e. work my way up the ladder and end in a senior or leadership position before retirement.

In today’s evolving and constantly changing world, one needs to think about the career topic with a different perspective. Environments change quickly, business shifts happen unexpectedly, impacts are felt globally, leaders and strategies change faster than one expects.

The concept of ‘stretch’ and growth needs to be constantly on one’s agenda. Complexity in different forms ensure learning and growth. As a result, we develop learning agility and it becomes a fundamental element of our approach and way of working. As we widen our ability to think, adapt and grow, we increase our value to any organizational setting.

Here are some fundamental questions to think about in this approach. The deeper and longer term aspects have to be addressed first.

1. What do I want to achieve with my life? What is meaningful success for me? What capabilities, support and paths do i need to build?
2. Am I continuing to grow or learn new things (in an area of importance, aligned to my longer term career objective), irrespective of the position or responsibility I hold today?
3. How long have I been doing the same work (irrespective of the job or role), without changing any element? Can I think of different approaches?
4. Key elements of role changes I would want to explore:
a. Breadth of responsibility at different levels
b. People Management – direct, indirect, matrix
c. Culture – Geography, Organization
d. Organization size, background and structure
e. Business environments – startup, fast growth, mature, major changes
f. Local & Global roles
4. Have I explored experience in different types of work approaches – eg. consulting, independent, volunteer etc.?

One can explore options with current organizations to start with or externally, through encouraging leaders and systems who facilitate the right opportunities.

At the heart of it, it may be always worthwhile to ask ourselves a Tom Peters (management guru) question: “What would you like to be written on your tombstone?”

Life is a valuable gift and it is important to think about the impact we want to create and the meaning we want to achieve through our work. After all, we spend a substantial portion of our lives at work and with colleagues.

Wish you the very best and a successful New Year 2015…

To every reader who’ve followed my posts, shared feedback and encouragement, special thanks to you and best wishes.

Posted on LinkedIn on December 25, 2014.

3 Basics In Interpersonal Communication

November 18, 2014 / Tojo Eapen / 0 Comments

I feel privileged to have had the opportunity to interact with people from multiple cultural and professional backgrounds, across various levels and roles. In my observation, the quality of interpersonal communication in any form varies tremendously and few fundamentals are often missed in organisations, irrespective of the roles or command over language. This may lead to frustration, misunderstanding and even conflict in organizations, internally or with partners. The less you know someone personally, the more cautious and aware you need to be. The more you know someone personally, it is important to not take them for granted. Great individual examples always stand out in our minds and memories.

Here are three basic starting points to think about.

1. When you call or connect with someone for the first time in any form, try to explain the context or background along with the introduction first. I’ve noticed many times when a customer service call comes in, the representative jumps straight to questions (with even questions that feel personal) without explaining the reason and background for the call. On social media, new LinkedIn or Facebook invites are often sent without any introductory message, leaving the receiver to figure out (especially if you haven’t met or connected in the past).

2. When someone you know tries to contact you, it is helpful to respond, even if it is a one liner saying you’re very busy currently. If you may not have clarity to respond regarding a question, it helps to say so. It is also helpful to manage expectations by referring to timeframes, if you think it will take time to respond. People should not feel that their messages went into a black hole and are left to decipher what that may mean. On the other hand, it also helps the sender to follow-up to ensure that it may not have been accidentally missed.

3. Related to the topic of givers and takers, it is not sustainable to just be a taker mostly. There are some people who seem to be happy as long as they receive help and support from others but when they receive a negative response or one that does not satisfy their needs, they miss to acknowledge and respond. It is important to acknowledge in any scenario and still thank someone for their time and interest for thinking and responding to you. It also worthwhile to ask yourself how you can as well be of help to others.

One may need to keep in mind that every action or lack of it, contributes to personal brand and reputation. Some people in positions of power unconsciously allow arrogance to creep into their communication (or lack of it). Everyone should receive the benefit of doubt, until proven otherwise through a noticeable trail of behaviors. We may be conditioned to pick up negatives faster than positives.

As we all work with so many different personalities, preferences and behaviors, it is valuable to get few consistent basic approaches in place, to avoid misunderstandings. We also live in an interconnected world where one’s personal or leadership brand image may actually travel long distances.

I still remember the time in university when I sent Daniel Goleman, author of multiple books including Emotional Intelligence (with no prior connection or influence) a note asking if he would be available and interested in joining a student event. It was a pleasant surprise and felt great to receive his assistant’s response next day and then Daniel himself in a couple of days, sharing that he would not be able to make it due to a hectic schedule. That left a strong impression. I also remember a time at work when someone I looked up to went totally missing (for probably good personal reason) during very challenging times, even when just presence and caring enquiries would have made a big difference. These experiences do leave long lasting impressions.

In any sphere of life (especially if you are a leader), how do you find opportunities in interpersonal communication to influence or impact other lives?

Would you have any notes of advice to share from your experiences?

Best wishes…

Leadership Trust At Any Level – 6 “Be”s

October 25, 2014 / Tojo Eapen / 0 Comments

(Posted on LinkedIn on October 21, 2014. Modified version of a previous post on www.tojoeapen.com/blog.)

One of the most common leadership questions and challenges we come across in organizations is “How do I/we build trust?”.

This is a topic that will be constantly revisited by many, in personal and professional lives. Trust can be built more consciously through repeated, consistent actions. Every action and behavior can contribute to building or breaking trust. When a healthy mass of leaders practice trust building behaviors in an organization, it starts to shift and impact the culture positively. You can also build some of these aspects into organizational practices and systems.

1. Be visible.
Don’t get too busy with meetings and spend most time within closed doors. All stakeholders, especially your team members have a high need to see their leaders, even more when uncertainty is high. As human beings, visibility is reassuring and, builds certainty and confidence.

2. Be respectful.
Being respectful in your direct and virtual interactions, irrespective of organizational levels are major acknowledgments and motivators for individuals. The deeper you go in an organization, the more charged up and motivated individuals feel when leaders find time for them. Respecting personal space and feelings, especially during difficult phases go a long way to building commitment and trust.

3. Be aware (of self and impact of your behaviors and actions on others).
Take time to understand yourself, what drives you, your values, principles, strengths and development areas. Self awareness is the starting point of any personal development. Next stage is to understand others around you and the impact of your behaviors on them. Trust is a two way street and someone needs to extend a hand forward first to get the process of interactions into motion. It becomes even more powerful when you extend your hand first.

4. Be authentic (consistent in behaviors and actions).
Be yourself. Don’t try to be someone else. Most people are smart enough to see through ‘fake’ and artificial personalities. This does not indicate the license to do whatever to be yourself, rather this is about being aligned to your values and principles. Practice what you preach. Admit mistakes with accountability when they happen and share recognition when success is achieved. Explain your thinking approach because people may think differently about a certain topic and struggle to see the rationale in another person’s point of view.

5. Be open (to discussions, while being conscious of biases).
Having the openness to discuss aspects that you may not agree with and have a strong view about, may help you see different possibilities and ideas. Sometimes, it helps to be open about the fact that you have a strong view for a certain reason. It also encourages others to share ideas and thoughts without fear. Presence of fear and defensiveness are among the biggest barriers to trust. It becomes more difficult to share mistakes that may come to haunt you later, or to speak up when the perceived power distance or threat of repercussion seems high. Being vulnerable, even to some extent is a big factor for others to see your humanness and increases accessibility.

6. Be fair (in your approach and communicate clearly, especially tough choices).
People can live with tough choices if they feel it was based on a fair process and they’re not being misled into believing so. Many times, lack of visibility on the process or the way it was communicated or an absence of it, results in difficult scenarios and contradictions for everyone involved.

To easily remember, we can also use the acronym ‘FAAVOR‘ (Fair, Aware, Authentic, Visible, Open, Respectful).

It is valuable to reflect constantly. Taking out some thinking time with yourself, your close connections, coaches or mentors can help you in finding more clarity. We all have different scenarios to think about and there are no perfect solutions. Observing, reflecting and adjusting our approaches accordingly would help to figure out an appropriate approach for our environment.

Over time and with practice, building trust becomes achievable and impactful through a concrete set of actions.

Changing Jobs? Notes for an effective transition

September 22, 2014 / Tojo Eapen / 1 Comment

Posted on LinkedIn on September 22, 2014.

We seem to be in an era of constant changes with shorter cycles of stability.

Organizations are constantly changing to respond to market needs and competition – repositioning, differentiating, streamlining, reorganizing and restructuring. In effect, there is a much higher demand on individual efforts. As a result, individuals are moving through different jobs with increasing frequency, many times with different companies. To survive and thrive in today’s hyper competitive world, the bar is constantly pushed higher.

At a personal level, it therefore becomes critical to understand the key elements for quick and effective transition across jobs and organizations, and develop the ability to learn and unlearn in shorter cycles.

Self awareness is the fundamental building block of any development process. According to Korn/Ferry, many business leaders continue to wrestle with a lack of self- awareness, a problem that can stall or even derail their careers. Armed with self-awareness, leaders can see themselves without deception or distortion. Barriers to self-awareness take two forms. Hidden strengths are the skills leaders have, but underestimate. This can cause such individuals to expend needless energy “fixing” something that isn’t broken or under-using a critical leadership skill. Blind spots, the skills that leaders overestimate, are more problematic. These are weaknesses leaders can’t see in themselves, even though they are evident to everyone around them. Distorted or inflated self-perception is a widespread problem.

Peter Drucker wrote, “Knowledge becomes obsolete incredibly fast.”

If we look across, most jobs have the following core learning components that are critical for effective delivery.

* SUBJECT MATTER/BODY OF KNOWLEDGE, SKILLS
Every job involves specific and core subject matter areas. These could most effectively be acquired and applied through a combination of on-the-job experiences and learning programs. For leadership roles, it is important to recognize and plug the knowledge gaps in the team, especially when a leader does not have deep expertise in the related areas.

* PROCESSES
Every organisation has a set of processes for most functional areas. Most of the work nowadays is defined through process flows. Building a good understanding of the organisational process flows allow us to determine what we need to do and how it impacts stakeholders.

* TOOLS/TECHNOLOGY
All organisations and jobs have specific tools and technologies that support work. They generally tend to follow the processes. Having a good understanding of how they work and are applied could substantially increase overall efficiency of one’s functioning.

Sometimes, basic processes or tools create the most frustration in a new environment. I’ve seen new employees frustrated with reimbursement process, time sheets or sometimes even with the difficulty in connecting to a local printer.

* PERSONAL NETWORKS
This is one of the most important elements. It includes both internal and external networks of our personal connections that allow us to function with a high degree of awareness and effectiveness. In many instances, the personal networks are critical for avoiding organizational ‘landmines’, converting the perception of a new ‘threat’ to ally, achieving the extra mile of success and for managing crises. In most instances, people support beyond the specified requirements of a process when there is a strong connection. These connections are also critical links to tacit knowledge that’re often unavailable in formal knowledge management systems or databases. Treating individuals with respect and empathy normally will result in valuable help and inputs on the organizational culture, especially during the tough transition phase.

* EXPERIENCE, WISDOM
This could involve our combination of the above components and gained through the application of knowledge in a variety of situations, reflection, interactions with people at different levels, environments and learning/adjusting from successes and failures (what has worked/not worked?) over time. This is very important for managers and leaders as a lot of judgment is involved in making quick decisions on topics which may not have defined answers for the specific environment.

Korn/Ferry also found that personal flexibility is the core of one’s ability to grow and improve. People with this trait not only hear and respond to feedback but actively seek it. They also pick up on clues from other people or the situation and adapt their approach as needed. Studies have repeatedly shown that the ability to learn from experience is what differentiates successful executives from unsuccessful ones. They learn faster, not because they are more intelligent, but because they have more effective learning skills and strategies.

References:
1. Changing Jobs?, February 2010 http://www.tojoeapen.com/blog/2010/02/
2. The Korn/Ferry Insititute: Illuminating blind spots and hidden strengths by J. Evelyn Orr, Victoria V. Swisher, King Yii Tang, and Kenneth P. De Meuse http://www.kornferryinstitute.com/sites/all/files/documents/briefings-magazine-download/Illuminating%20blind%20spots%20and%20hidden%20strengths%20.pdf
3. The Korn/Ferry Insititute: Using Learning Agility to Identify High Potentials around the World by K. P. De Meuse, Guangrong Dai, George S. Hallenbeck, King Yii Tang http://www.successfactors.com/static/docs/LearningAgilityResearchWhitepaper.pdf

3 Omnipresent Leadership Coaching Scenarios

September 18, 2014 / Tojo Eapen / 0 Comments

Posted on LinkedIn on September 16, 2014

We see these scenarios play out in organizations every day but leaders seldom seem to act with urgency or seriousness to support development for themselves or their teams through impactful coaching. Effective leadership impacts multiple lives, not just of employees but also their families and beyond. As we experience ourselves, emotions can be contagious and many times, our good and bad emotions stay with us beyond work.

The three most common leadership coaching scenarios I’ve observed in organizations, irrespective of locations around the world:

1. Strong Individual Contributor but Weak Leadership

2. Strong Technical/Analytic Skills but Weak Emotional Intelligence, Social, Communication Skills

3. Strong Execution but Weak Strategic and Long-term Thinking Skills

Would you agree?

Ignoring these weaknesses could lead to major derailers for leaders and organizations.

I have little doubt that disengagement in organizations stems from poor leadership and HR practices. Gallup’s 2013 State of the Global Workplace report found that only 30% of American employees, 15% of German employees, 9% of French employees, 6% of Chinese employees, 11% of Korean employees, and 9% of India’s employees were engaged at work actively sharing their best ideas and giving their all for high performance.

For leaders, it is important to recognize that building self-awareness requires a lot of work. The issue becomes compounded when leaders don’t seek feedback in the right manner and are surrounded by ‘yes’ people. In addition, they don’t receive adequate support or the ‘safe zone’ to reflect and modify their approaches. This leaves many teams and organizations with unresolved toxic emotions and issues.

If you are a leader or HR professional, please consider placing leadership coaching support and related skills high on your agenda – for yourself and others.

Have you encountered other common coaching scenarios?

Reference:
From Blue Ocean Strategy to Blue Ocean Leadership
http://knowledge.insead.edu/leadership-management/from-blue-ocean-strategy-to-blue-ocean-leadership-3577

A World Of Constant Changes, Uncertainties And Disruptions

September 16, 2014 / Tojo Eapen / 0 Comments

Modified version of the original post on ‘The Illusion of Work’ Blog.

We all go through many changes in life, both positive ones and those that are tough and challenging. None of us look forward to disruption in our lives.However, sometimes, we don’t seem to have much control of what life brings to our doorsteps. As much as we prepare to face difficulties, it takes a lot of energy and effort.

What are some basic, helpful steps when the world around seems to be chaotic, with things running out of control?

1. Taking The Time To Reflect and Be Grounded

When the whole world around seems to be rocky, one needs to find ways to feel grounded by finding moments of peace, silence and calmness. Consciously taking the time to reflect (individually or with a trusted connection), understanding the big picture, avoiding unrealistic panic from taking over by putting things into context/perspective, remembering what is really important to oneself in the overall scheme of things, acknowledging good aspects of life, and focusing on things that one has control over are some ways to progress meaningfully. It’s worthwhile to breathe deep, take a step back, and spend some time to think about our overall direction and focus.

2. Finding One’s ‘Secure Bases’

The term “secure base” comes from the post-war attachment theory research of John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth. According to this theory, all humans have an innate desire to seek closeness to and comfort from a person who gives them a sense of protection. This becomes especially relevant during tough and challenging times. George Kohlrieser and team defined “secure base” as ‘a person, place, goal or object that provides a sense of protection, safety and caring and offers a source of inspiration and energy for daring, exploration, risk taking and seeking challenge.’ In tough times, secure bases can come in the form of close friends, relatives, colleagues, teachers, coaches or leaders. They could also play an important role in providing a ‘safe zone’ to explore new paths and build momentum towards positive actions and outcomes.

3. Maintaining Physical & Mental fitness

Research suggests that staying physically active leads to better physical and mental states. According to John J Ratey, MD, an Associate Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, adding exercise to your lifestyle sparks your brain function to improve learning on three levels. First, it optimizes your mind-set to improve alertness, attention, mood, and motivation. Second, it prepares and encourages nerve cells to bind to one another, which is the cellular basis for logging in new information. Third, it spurs the development of new nerve cells. Building exercise routines with a peer group or acquaintances increases the probability of consistency. When feeling low, getting fresh air into our system or spending time in nature can be refreshing.

Studies on meditation find that if practiced consistently, it has a huge impact on overall individual wellbeing, recovery and happiness. The practice of mindfulness meditation by trying to simply focus on own breath (non-judgmental observation) is a highly effective way to counter the panic and stress button in my brain from taking over. Tony Schwartz recommends in his HBR article (Manage Your Energy, Not Your Time) that deep abdominal breathing is helpful in defusing negative emotions. Exhaling slowly for five or six seconds induces relaxation and recovery, and turns off the fight-or-flight response. Dr. David Rock indicates in his book, ‘Your Brain at Work’ that a person’s capacity to use his or her brain effectively can be impaired under conditions of peak stress or anxiety. Our self-awareness muscle can be developed in everyday life by paying attention to the relationship between how we feel and what we do. Calming ourselves down or quieting the mind will help us to be highly effective.

4. Focus, Inspiration and Humor

Neuroscience studies support the notion that our focus is fundamental – focusing on inspiring, positive thoughts have a higher probability of spurring us towards action. Once ideas and insights flow out from our thinking, we have to follow it up with small, practical actions quickly. A general feeling of expecting good things generates a healthy level of dopamine and may be the neurochemical marker of feeling happy. When the going gets tough, even small moments of inspiration and humor can go a long way. Inspiration can come in different forms. It is important to keep an open mind and proactively seek them out as well – in the form of stories, books, movies, pets, real life role models and experiences. Humor tends to defuse stress and we immediately feel a bit lighter. It is also contagious. An important related choice is in considering with whom or where we spend our time. The book, ‘How Full Is Your Bucket’ states that 9 out of 10 people say they are more productive when they’re around positive people.

As we all know, no two human beings are the same. The effectiveness of change practices, how we cope with stress, and related solutions vary with preferences, individual personalities and environments. It is also important to recognize and act quickly when we ourselves or someone around needs professional support. This could unfortunately be an extremely difficult step in many places due to the fear of social stigma and negative attitudes in society. Understanding and compassion are critical.

What has helped you to personally navigate through challenging scenarios?

Wishing you the very best in your journey…

“Your joy is divine, and so is your suffering. There’s so much to be learned from both.” – Dr. Wayne Dyer

References

Secure Bases
http://www.tlnt.com/2012/10/23/secure-base-leadership-what-it-means-and-why-it-really-matters/
Your Brain At Work (Book) by Dr. David Rock
NeuroLeadership Institute Website –http://www.neuroleadership.org/index.shtml
Manage Your Energy, Not Your Time by Tony Schwartz and Catherine McCarthy, Harvard Business Review Article
http://hbr.org/2007/10/manage-your-energy-not-your-time/ar/1
Exercise and the Brain
http://www.sparkinglife.org/
Mindfulness with Jon Kabat-Zinn (Video of a session on Mindfulness at Google) And Multiple Books Published http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3nwwKbM_vJc
How Full Is Your Bucket? (Book) by Tom Rath and Donald Clifton

Evolving Self – Transitioning Back

August 24, 2014 / Tojo Eapen / 8 Comments

“Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward….” – Lao Tzu

As I was saying good byes to friends and ex-colleagues in Finland earlier this year, many encouraged me to write about my experiences of transitioning back to India, after more than a decade of living in the U.S. and Finland. In addition to personal experiences, some were also curious to hear more about India through the eyes of someone they could relate to.

For other readers, in a personal development context, may I suggest the self awareness question for your thinking – “What defines you?”

Considering that Finland and India are worlds apart in many respects, this transition involved big readjustments.

The early stages of moving back involved feelings of fuzziness. It was a feeling of being in different places at the same time. There was a mix of sadness and happiness, thinking about what would be missed and gained. It involved letting go of personal comfort zones, habits and relationships built over the years.

There were early readjustments. After having gotten used to the silent environment in Helsinki, even adjusting to the general noise levels was a change. I live in a smaller city in the south of India (Trivandrum, Kerala) which is more laid back and easier to navigate compared to many other larger cities. Life brought a difficult turning point, when my mother passed away after a month of my arrival. Pain and challenges tend to lead to a yearning for spiritual advancement. My efforts during previous years to understand spirituality deeper helped to focus on life from a larger wisdom and perspective.

I’ve wondered – Does wisdom find you or do you find wisdom? What leads you or vice versa to you, certain things, people or circumstances that seem to be outside the predictable flow of things in life?

On the professional side, I had decided to move in an independent path of consulting and coaching. This involved figuring out new ways of working. Working from home on my own was an interesting adjustment process. Trying to build connections in a place that I had not spend much time during the past decade was another. In many ways, it felt like starting from scratch. There was a sense of frustration and impatience creeping in and a need to manage that. I traveled to Delhi and Chennai to meet with contacts and attend a national HR conference. Those experiences were helpful to get a wider view on some cultural and professional aspects. Some ex colleagues and friends were gracious in meeting and responding. There were disappointments in my mind with few others – I realized it was due to my own expectations mostly of others without thinking about or knowing their perspective. Life seems to become a lot easier and less complicated when we let go of judgment and expectation of wanting others and things to be our way. Learning to deal with that was important personal progress.

It also gave me an impetus to write more and channel positive energy. A high school friend who is currently working on a book and involved with the publishing world, helped create new blog page. In around three months, there have been close to1000 unique views from 45 countries. I am grateful for the many encouraging responses and feedback.

On the personal exercise front, after enjoying squash (learning to lose painfully 🙂 a lot before starting to win) for the last four years personally, I am yet to pick up a new game and get back to the active exercise mode. Squash courts are hard to find. Some of that relates to me trying to find my new enjoyable zone.

Regarding general experiences in India:

The process flows and government interfaces are improving slowly and surely for citizens. Another positive aspect I experienced personally is meeting more grounded individuals in positions of power in the public and private spaces, who are aware of the intelligent use of power and want to make a positive change and impact. Experiences in India can vary considerably depending on where one is located.

Readjustments also involved getting used to how things work. Many things (public or private sector) did not seem to work smoothly and to the expected or communicated timeframes. It also seemed to take multiple follow-ups until something got unnecessarily complicated. Time still seems to be a flexible concept and delays are normal. Communication styles are still mostly top down and hierarchical and the frontline staff in most places are not empowered to make changes for customers. Small business owners say that they still can’t trust work to get done if they’re not micromanaging their staff. Many things get completed faster depending on where, who and how the request comes. Social status and networks plays a major role.

India continues to develop. Infrastructure is much better but there is a long way to go before getting to world class. The progress may be in bits and pieces. It is encouraging to see the new central government emphasize major infrastructure development and change in attitudes and habits. Connectivity, accessibility and ease of travel are much better. The impact of information technology is widespread, with many process being connected to the internet. Unlimited internet at home is not unlimited at the same speed – the access speeds reduce dramatically after a certain data transfer amount depending on the type of connection packages you take. The cars on the roads have changed and the numbers have increased dramatically with most global car brands being present but the quality of many roads and traffic management need attention. Maintaining the current roads without potholes seem to be a challenge. One of my rough first hand experiences was a six hour journey in the last row of a state transport bus, which felt like sitting on a jumping ball. There seems to be lesser queue disruption than in the past. Public transport system is overcrowded during peak hours but provides much more options and comfort than earlier. Mass transport systems are still few in number. Basic utilities like energy and drinking water seem to be under stress and require a lot more planning for the future.

Some services are as good or better than anywhere in the world. I can order a cab sitting at home, for any time of the day or night. There are also apps now in many parts of India that even track our ordered taxi through gps, after we order. The Delhi metro seemed as good as any other metro system in the world but the rush hour traffic may become or already is over capacity. Global startup names like Uber seem to be building up in India quickly. I can also book bus, train or plane tickets seamlessly using apps or through the internet anytime – this was not easy even few years back. I could travel on the train by just showing my photo id and online ticket booking. Most major brand names are visible on the local store shelves and everywhere . The latest mobile devices and electronic equipments are quite visible.

Even though many things have improved tremendously, it is obvious that India is still difficult for foreigners or tourists to navigate practically on their own.

Back to my own experiences – Memories, recollections and emotions still remind me about my previous world, people and experiences. There are still days in which I distinctly picture internally my favorite walking path around the waterfront in Helsinki. What I miss most is my diverse conversations with my small group of friends and connections. Physical distance results in mental distances and grabbing a coffee together is no longer an easy option. As time passes, the distance grows. Close friends will remain close and the reconnection will be seamless but the nature of closeness shifts when the frequency of interactions drop. On the other side, old friends in India are still friends, but they have evolved as well and we are all in different phases. That needs rebuilding. Very few stay the same.

All this serves as means to deeper learning, wisdom, new paths, connections and a more evolved future. I am learning and unlearning without letting go of the valuable knowledge and wisdom acquired. With every new direction, life has led to unexpected new paths, people and experiences.

Feeling lost seems to be a familiar feeling before discovering myself in an evolving self. It has led me to a place of hope, belief and confidence to progress through new experiences stronger.

To my global friends, I hope and wish our paths cross again… There is some sadness in thinking that it may not happen sometimes but glad that destiny helped cross our paths. It may not have been total coincidence. I am a result of my experiences.

A special ‘Thank You’ to my good friends for your inspiration and encouragement, to share my experiences.

“We are travelers on a cosmic journey, stardust, swirling and dancing in the eddies and whirlpools of infinity. Life is eternal. We have stopped for a moment to encounter each other, to meet, to love, to share. This is a precious moment. It is a little parenthesis in eternity.”- Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

Learning to Learn Differently – Thoughts For Students (& Teachers as well)

August 18, 2014 / Tojo Eapen / 0 Comments

There’s a huge emphasis on education and learning in many parts of the world. People recognize the importance, tangible benefits and positive impact it could bring to one’s life, society and the future. While the importance and acknowledgement is visible, many aspects and approaches related to learning seem to require a rethink.

In India, the value of application of education to life seems to be less important than the rank or scores in an examination. Without doubt, exam scores do matter but everyone needs to think seriously about the value of learning to life beyond schools or university.

Earlier this June, I had shared few suggestions for primarily educators regarding employability of their students. This post is more focused on the individual learning perspective, mainly for students but may help teachers as well. Having been through multiple learning experiences in different levels, subjects and countries (including losing a year due to low marks in school), I thought it would be useful to share from multiple experiences.

1. Build self awareness on one’s own learning preferences and styles
Most people have different learning styles, preferences and paces. It is important to identify one’s own learning style. At least understanding your learning preference (visual, auditory, reading-writing, kinesthetic) can improve the experience and effectiveness. It is also important to build self discipline into any learning process. Similar to building physical muscles by exercising constantly, it is important to build mental muscles and focus through a disciplined process. Without discipline and direction, it is easy to get lost in various distractions.

2. Learn something that you’re passionate about and is aligned to your strengths
A starting point of any learning process is to answer for oneself, “Why I am learning this, why is this important for me?”. If your answer is aligned to your own interests, values and priorities, the probability of a successful learning experience is high. The only time when I personally truly enjoyed learning and did really well was when I learned something I badly wanted to, and felt very interested about. I went much beyond the requirements of the program to learn and absorb as much as possible. It is very unfortunate and a huge waste of your and others’ time, if you spend most of your life learning or doing something you don’t like or want to do. Many students choose a profession because it seems glamorous from outside or due to external pressure. I’ve heard from professors and teachers that it is very difficult for any worthwhile learning to happen if someone is unmotivated or uninterested. If you don’t have your own specific answer, it is fine to experiment and listen to other’s (someone you respect) inputs. Unfortunately, many parents in India force their children to streams that they absolutely don’t want to be in.

3. Reap the benefits of social learning
Learning becomes deeper and much richer when one is exposed to multiple perspectives. Having a peer discussion group to discuss your learning topics can be valuable exposure. Start with a common purpose for the whole team – what are we trying to achieve? Being able to synthesize from various inputs is a highly appreciated skill in today’s world. It helps to have positive peer pressure to keep moving forward, and work with one’s negative emotions as they creep in. This is also a valuable way to learn to work with contradictory opinions. Awareness of the potential of one’s ego to disrupt and to work on it early is extremely important. Extra curricular activities like sports or arts that involves teamwork serve as great learning experiences. Working effectively in teams, including those you disagree with or don’t like is a major requirement for any organization.

4. Use multiple sources and media
It is a huge opportunity missed in today’s world to not enrich one’s learning using multiple, available knowledge sources. Please do not wait for the university or professors to give you content. There so much of it available today, with a mobile device and internet connectivity. In addition to using your faculty, laboratories, peer groups, and libraries that may be accessible locally, there’s so much content, online courses and global resources accessible through the internet today. The opportunity to stay updated on the latest developments in any area and learn from the best sitting in any part of the world is tremendous. Keeping industry interaction active also always gives you the employment perspective. Try to find people in your own first or second degree network who can share their valuable first-hand experiences from workplaces – culture, ways of working, what it takes to be effective etc.

5. Make the environment attractive
Last but not least, it is important to feel good about learning. Neuroscience studies show that the brain functions much better when it is in a ‘reward’ state, not a ‘threat’ state. Even if learning may involve difficult work, an enjoyable collegial, fun, open physical and social environment, refreshing variety of methods used, great people around are factors that contribute to an enjoyable learning experience. Each one of you can contribute to that in the way you turn up.

For teachers, they key question to ask is how you can play a key role in facilitating the learning process, thinking, acting and guiding students to find answers for themselves through multiple knowledge sources. In India, we have long held the notion that a teacher should have the answer for almost everything. As the popular Chinese proverb tells us, “Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.” A good practical start would be to spend time in your class just discussing about creating an effective and impactful learning experience together.

Success comes when the students and teachers work together – with a common purpose or vision.

Deep learning involves learning beyond the prescribed boundaries by a school or university. One feels personal growth, a sense of achievement and confidence to take on the world.

What has worked very well for you? Your input or shared experience could influence a life in a major way.

Best wishes…

I dedicate this post to my father on his death anniversary today, for allowing me to choose my own learning direction.

Category: Coaching (page 3 of 5)

Our Fundamental Choice

Seeing Opportunities Or Threats?

A Different Approach To Career Management

3 Basics In Interpersonal Communication

Leadership Trust At Any Level – 6 “Be”s

Changing Jobs? Notes for an effective transition

3 Omnipresent Leadership Coaching Scenarios

A World Of Constant Changes, Uncertainties And Disruptions

Evolving Self – Transitioning Back

Learning to Learn Differently – Thoughts For Students (& Teachers as well)

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