We have all sensed, acted or reacted based on this and would think it makes sense, even if it may be unconscious during our interactions.  Most expert communicators and socially intelligent people have inherently known and used this approach.  Thanks to neuroscience research, the findings provide a solid reason to understand this.The fundamental question to ask yourself in any interaction:

AM I CREATING A “TOWARD” (APPROACH) STATE OR “AWAY” (AVOID) STATE IN MY INTERACTIONS?

This applies to any interaction in our world of work and personal relationships.

According to neuroscience studies:

• Our brains are more tuned to picking up threats in the environment and the threat response is easily triggered.
• It is easier to cause aggravation than it is to help other think rationally and creatively.
• In the threat state, our brain is disengaged due to related activity and ‘noise’, resulting in reduced cognitive performance. There is also a high possibility of an “emotional hijack”. We also know that emotions are contagious and can spread.
• The organizing, overarching principle of the brain is to minimize danger (threat state) and maximize rewards (towards state).
• If a stimulus is associated with positive emotions, it will most likely lead to an approach response; if it is associated with negative emotions, it will lead to an avoid response.  From our experiences, we know that we naturally try to avoid uncomfortable interactions, situations or difficult people.
• An approach response is synonymous with the idea of engagement and closely linked to positive emotions.

So next time you think about starting a conversation in person, over the phone or virtually, ask yourself: Do I want to create a “towards” (approach) state or an “away” (avoid) state? How can I create a “towards” state?

In the world around you, what percentage of “towards” state interactions vs. “away” state interactions do you notice?

Reference, Recommended Reading:
SCARF…, David Rock: http://www.your-brain-at-work.com/files/NLJ_SCARFUS.pdf