HEALTH, PURPOSE & IMPACT

Category: HR (page 3 of 5)

Changing Jobs? Notes for an effective transition

Transitions 2 Picture

Posted on LinkedIn on September 22, 2014.

We seem to be in an era of constant changes with shorter cycles of stability.

Organizations are constantly changing to respond to market needs and competition – repositioning, differentiating, streamlining, reorganizing and restructuring. In effect, there is a much higher demand on individual efforts. As a result, individuals are moving through different jobs with increasing frequency, many times with different companies. To survive and thrive in today’s hyper competitive world, the bar is constantly pushed higher.

At a personal level, it therefore becomes critical to understand the key elements for quick and effective transition across jobs and organizations, and develop the ability to learn and unlearn in shorter cycles.

Self awareness is the fundamental building block of any development process. According to Korn/Ferry, many business leaders continue to wrestle with a lack of self- awareness, a problem that can stall or even derail their careers. Armed with self-awareness, leaders can see themselves without deception or distortion. Barriers to self-awareness take two forms. Hidden strengths are the skills leaders have, but underestimate. This can cause such individuals to expend needless energy “fixing” something that isn’t broken or under-using a critical leadership skill. Blind spots, the skills that leaders overestimate, are more problematic. These are weaknesses leaders can’t see in themselves, even though they are evident to everyone around them. Distorted or inflated self-perception is a widespread problem.

Peter Drucker wrote, “Knowledge becomes obsolete incredibly fast.”

If we look across, most jobs have the following core learning components that are critical for effective delivery.

* SUBJECT MATTER/BODY OF KNOWLEDGE, SKILLS
Every job involves specific and core subject matter areas. These could most effectively be acquired and applied through a combination of on-the-job experiences and learning programs. For leadership roles, it is important to recognize and plug the knowledge gaps in the team, especially when a leader does not have deep expertise in the related areas.

* PROCESSES
Every organisation has a set of processes for most functional areas. Most of the work nowadays is defined through process flows. Building a good understanding of the organisational process flows allow us to determine what we need to do and how it impacts stakeholders.

* TOOLS/TECHNOLOGY
All organisations and jobs have specific tools and technologies that support work. They generally tend to follow the processes. Having a good understanding of how they work and are applied could substantially increase overall efficiency of one’s functioning.

Sometimes, basic processes or tools create the most frustration in a new environment. I’ve seen new employees frustrated with reimbursement process, time sheets or sometimes even with the difficulty in connecting to a local printer.

* PERSONAL NETWORKS 
This is one of the most important elements. It includes both internal and external networks of our personal connections that allow us to function with a high degree of awareness and effectiveness. In many instances, the personal networks are critical for avoiding organizational ‘landmines’, converting the perception of a new ‘threat’ to ally, achieving the extra mile of success and for managing crises. In most instances, people support beyond the specified requirements of a process when there is a strong connection. These connections are also critical links to tacit knowledge that’re often unavailable in formal knowledge management systems or databases. Treating individuals with respect and empathy normally will result in valuable help and inputs on the organizational culture, especially during the tough transition phase.

* EXPERIENCE, WISDOM 
This could involve our combination of the above components and gained through the application of knowledge in a variety of situations, reflection, interactions with people at different levels, environments and learning/adjusting from successes and failures (what has worked/not worked?) over time. This is very important for managers and leaders as a lot of judgment is involved in making quick decisions on topics which may not have defined answers for the specific environment.

Korn/Ferry also found that personal flexibility is the core of one’s ability to grow and improve. People with this trait not only hear and respond to feedback but actively seek it. They also pick up on clues from other people or the situation and adapt their approach as needed. Studies have repeatedly shown that the ability to learn from experience is what differentiates successful executives from unsuccessful ones. They learn faster, not because they are more intelligent, but because they have more effective learning skills and strategies.

References:
1. Changing Jobs?, February 2010 http://www.tojoeapen.com/blog/2010/02/
2. The Korn/Ferry Insititute: Illuminating blind spots and hidden strengths by J. Evelyn Orr, Victoria V. Swisher, King Yii Tang, and Kenneth P. De Meuse http://www.kornferryinstitute.com/sites/all/files/documents/briefings-magazine-download/Illuminating%20blind%20spots%20and%20hidden%20strengths%20.pdf
3. The Korn/Ferry Insititute: Using Learning Agility to Identify High Potentials around the World by K. P. De Meuse, Guangrong Dai, George S. Hallenbeck, King Yii Tang http://www.successfactors.com/static/docs/LearningAgilityResearchWhitepaper.pdf

3 Omnipresent Leadership Coaching Scenarios

Posted on LinkedIn on September 16, 2014

We see these scenarios play out in organizations every day but leaders seldom seem to act with urgency or seriousness to support development for themselves or their teams through impactful coaching. Effective leadership impacts multiple lives, not just of employees but also their families and beyond. As we experience ourselves, emotions can be contagious and many times, our good and bad emotions stay with us beyond work.

The three most common leadership coaching scenarios I’ve observed in organizations, irrespective of locations around the world:

1. Strong Individual Contributor but Weak Leadership

2. Strong Technical/Analytic Skills but Weak Emotional Intelligence, Social, Communication Skills

3. Strong Execution but Weak Strategic and Long-term Thinking Skills

Would you agree?

Ignoring these weaknesses could lead to major derailers for leaders and organizations.

I have little doubt that disengagement in organizations stems from poor leadership and HR practices. Gallup’s 2013 State of the Global Workplace report found that only 30% of American employees, 15% of German employees, 9% of French employees, 6% of Chinese employees, 11% of Korean employees, and 9% of India’s employees were engaged at work actively sharing their best ideas and giving their all for high performance.

For leaders, it is important to recognize that building self-awareness requires a lot of work. The issue becomes compounded when leaders don’t seek feedback in the right manner and are surrounded by ‘yes’ people. In addition, they don’t receive adequate support or the ‘safe zone’ to reflect and modify their approaches. This leaves many teams and organizations with unresolved toxic emotions and issues.

If you are a leader or HR professional, please consider placing leadership coaching support and related skills high on your agenda – for yourself and others.

Have you encountered other common coaching scenarios?

Reference:
From Blue Ocean Strategy to Blue Ocean Leadership
http://knowledge.insead.edu/leadership-management/from-blue-ocean-strategy-to-blue-ocean-leadership-3577

A World Of Constant Changes, Uncertainties And Disruptions

Footprint_photo

Modified version of the original post on ‘The Illusion of Work’ Blog.

We all go through many changes in life, both positive ones and those that are tough and challenging. None of us look forward to disruption in our lives.However, sometimes, we don’t seem to have much control of what life brings to our doorsteps. As much as we prepare to face difficulties, it takes a lot of energy and effort.

What are some basic, helpful steps when the world around seems to be chaotic, with things running out of control?

1. Taking The Time To Reflect and Be Grounded

When the whole world around seems to be rocky, one needs to find ways to feel grounded by finding moments of peace, silence and calmness. Consciously taking the time to reflect (individually or with a trusted connection), understanding the big picture, avoiding unrealistic panic from taking over by putting things into context/perspective, remembering what is really important to oneself in the overall scheme of things, acknowledging good aspects of life, and focusing on things that one has control over are some ways to progress meaningfully. It’s worthwhile to breathe deep, take a step back, and spend some time to think about our overall direction and focus.

2. Finding One’s ‘Secure Bases’

The term “secure base” comes from the post-war attachment theory research of John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth. According to this theory, all humans have an innate desire to seek closeness to and comfort from a person who gives them a sense of protection. This becomes especially relevant during tough and challenging times. George Kohlrieser and team defined “secure base” as ‘a person, place, goal or object that provides a sense of protection, safety and caring and offers a source of inspiration and energy for daring, exploration, risk taking and seeking challenge.’ In tough times, secure bases can come in the form of close friends, relatives, colleagues, teachers, coaches or leaders. They could also play an important role in providing a ‘safe zone’ to explore new paths and build momentum towards positive actions and outcomes.

3. Maintaining Physical & Mental fitness

Research suggests that staying physically active leads to better physical and mental states. According to John J Ratey, MD, an Associate Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, adding exercise to your lifestyle sparks your brain function to improve learning on three levels. First, it optimizes your mind-set to improve alertness, attention, mood, and motivation. Second, it prepares and encourages nerve cells to bind to one another, which is the cellular basis for logging in new information. Third, it spurs the development of new nerve cells. Building exercise routines with a peer group or acquaintances increases the probability of consistency. When feeling low, getting fresh air into our system or spending time in nature can be refreshing.

Studies on meditation find that if practiced consistently, it has a huge impact on overall individual wellbeing, recovery and happiness. The practice of mindfulness meditation by trying to simply focus on own breath (non-judgmental observation) is a highly effective way to counter the panic and stress button in my brain from taking over. Tony Schwartz recommends in his HBR article (Manage Your Energy, Not Your Time) that deep abdominal breathing is helpful in defusing negative emotions. Exhaling slowly for five or six seconds induces relaxation and recovery, and turns off the fight-or-flight response. Dr. David Rock indicates in his book, ‘Your Brain at Work’ that a person’s capacity to use his or her brain effectively can be impaired under conditions of peak stress or anxiety. Our self-awareness muscle can be developed in everyday life by paying attention to the relationship between how we feel and what we do. Calming ourselves down or quieting the mind will help us to be highly effective.

4. Focus, Inspiration and Humor

Neuroscience studies support the notion that our focus is fundamental – focusing on inspiring, positive thoughts have a higher probability of spurring us towards action. Once ideas and insights flow out from our thinking, we have to follow it up with small, practical actions quickly. A general feeling of expecting good things generates a healthy level of dopamine and may be the neurochemical marker of feeling happy. When the going gets tough, even small moments of inspiration and humor can go a long way. Inspiration can come in different forms. It is important to keep an open mind and proactively seek them out as well – in the form of stories, books, movies, pets, real life role models and experiences. Humor tends to defuse stress and we immediately feel a bit lighter. It is also contagious. An important related choice is in considering with whom or where we spend our time. The book, ‘How Full Is Your Bucket’ states that 9 out of 10 people say they are more productive when they’re around positive people.

As we all know, no two human beings are the same. The effectiveness of change practices, how we cope with stress, and related solutions vary with preferences, individual personalities and environments. It is also important to recognize and act quickly when we ourselves or someone around needs professional support. This could unfortunately be an extremely difficult step in many places due to the fear of social stigma and negative attitudes in society. Understanding and compassion are critical.

What has helped you to personally navigate through challenging scenarios?

Wishing you the very best in your journey…

“Your joy is divine, and so is your suffering. There’s so much to be learned from both.” – Dr. Wayne Dyer

References

  1. Secure Bases
    http://www.tlnt.com/2012/10/23/secure-base-leadership-what-it-means-and-why-it-really-matters/
  2. Your Brain At Work (Book) by Dr. David Rock
  3. NeuroLeadership Institute Website –http://www.neuroleadership.org/index.shtml
  4. Manage Your Energy, Not Your Time by Tony Schwartz and Catherine McCarthy, Harvard Business Review Article
    http://hbr.org/2007/10/manage-your-energy-not-your-time/ar/1
  5. Exercise and the Brain
    http://www.sparkinglife.org/
  6. Mindfulness with Jon Kabat-Zinn (Video of a session on Mindfulness at Google) And Multiple Books Published http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3nwwKbM_vJc
  7. How Full Is Your Bucket? (Book) by Tom Rath and Donald Clifton

 

Hate HR? Time To Split HR? Basic things to think about…

There is something about HR that always seems to attract active attention, in any discussion.  In recent years, we’ve seen articles with titles, ‘Why We Hate HR’, ‘Why We No Longer Need HR Departments’, and recently ‘It’s Time To Split HR’.

Many individuals I speak with don’t seem to think highly of HR in their organizations.  At the same time, HR professionals feel the pain on many aspects as well, including feeling that they are criticized unfairly many times.  In most places, they work hard like counterparts in other functions.

The good aspect of all this is, it shows us most people still care and have strong expectations from the HR function.

Looking at many articles, even nowadays, it looks like there is confusion regarding what the HR function exists for.  Having had the opportunity to interact and learn from many thought leaders in the consulting, academic and business worlds, the answer is simple and clear in my mind – HR ensures successful and sustainable businesses, with the right organizational capabilities.  Strategies, practices, processes, behaviors, tools and  technologies need to follow that link.

Sorry to disappoint anyone who still thinks that all of HR’s key job should be to keep all employees happy and answer all queries and requests as quickly as possible.  Some HR teams’ roles might be just that but it is important to be aware of the difference.  Overall for any HR professional, it is neither intelligent nor helpful at any level to repel employees through unprofessional behaviors.

There are some basic questions in my mind.

  • Do employees have a higher expectation from HR as it is the one function that interfaces and represents the organization (beyond their leaders) from start to end of employment?
  • Is there a higher expectation for ‘H’ from the Human Resources function but at the same time business leadership demands more and more cost based decisions?  How do HR professionals feel about ‘H’ from their stakeholders?
  • Is there a feeling that HR work at all levels is comparatively easier?  Is there deficiency of right competencies and professionals for more complex levels of HR work, that have led the HR function to be perceived as ineffective or just administrative or process centric?
  • Do HR professionals feel like they are caught in the ‘middle’? Does that lead to a general lowering of employee trust in HR professionals?

As HR professionals and leaders, it is extremely important to build clarity on the vision, outcomes and the structure/governance to deliver them, while managing expectations with key stakeholders on priorities and communicating constantly.

Leaders also have to be realistic on expectations from HR.  Many times, there is a big disconnect internally among what the leaders expect, what employees think HR needs to do and what HR thinks they have to do.  In addition to this, investments in HR development do not reflect the high expectations from leaders to support successful strategy execution.  HR sometimes appears among the last ones in the line for development.

Many times, HR professionals are frustrated that they are not listened to by their own HR leaders.  Also, here’s a humble request to please stop using the HR function as ‘holding place’ for incompetent employees that you can’t send elsewhere or don’t want to ‘let go’.  HR also should not be seen as ‘glorified assistants’ (a term heard from conversations).  There is space within HR for administrative roles but that difference has to be understood.

Spending time, understanding, influencing views and having an open dialogue with all key stakeholders is probably the first step towards addressing some of these topics with a wider audience.

The untapped potential can be realized only through support from all stakeholders, with a collaborative attitude and approach.  It goes both ways…

“Remember teamwork begins by building trust. And the only way to do that is to overcome our need for invulnerability.” – Patrick Lencioni

“We must learn to live together as brothers or perish together as fools.” – Martin Luther King Jr.

 

HR in India, Notes from the 2014 Nasscom India Annual HR Conference

I attended the Nasscom India HR Conference in Chennai last week.  From conversations in recent years, I’ve noticed a lot of interest and curiosity about the India HR world externally as well.

Here’re some of my key notes and perspectives from the conference:

  • One of the most encouraging discussions to hear was from senior business leaders, recognizing that HR leaders can be actively considered as CEO succession candidates. There was recognition at the CEO level that HR leaders can have a tremendous impact on the business, due to immense amount of knowledge about the talent, organization, culture and the ability to engage with them successfully.  What would it take for an HR leader to be considered?  There was a feeling that business, financial and strategic skills can improve.
  • It would be important to have HR experts on the boards of companies (this came from senior business leaders).  Currently, there seems to be little expert knowledge or in-depth discussions on company boards.
  • Importance of having a strong personal value system and caring attitude towards employees (‘H’ in Human Resources) was highlighted.  This approach from leaders and HR was seen to have a high impact on employee engagement.
  • It is impactful for business leader development to rotate to HR roles but seems to not sufficiently happen the other way.  Most panelists felt that it would be very important for an HR leader to have done at least one job outside HR.  HR professionals sometimes do not feel confident or motivated to take up external assignments.  Talent development support and nurturing within the function would enable more of this.
  • The need for HR to be competent business partners – moving beyond processes and policing was highlighted multiple times.  Seems like there is a lot of work for the HR teams to progress towards becoming credible business partners.
  • HR is still seen as reluctant adopters of new technologies in organizations – in some cases, even disinterested.
  • Performance Management was the most active session attended.  Most questions and interest were focused on the details of administering a ‘no bell curve’ system.  This could be among the most active areas for HR and organizations in coming years.  Companies like Adobe who have moved away from the bell curve system received most of the questions and interest.
  • It is important for middle managers or first time leaders to build self awareness, be seen as team and organization builders, and build a strategic perspective, if they want to progress to senior leadership roles.
  • Some of the basic areas and processes require attention.  A recent case in the education industry involving insufficient reporting, employment background checks and records showed up in a Bangalore school, where a teacher with a very worrying negative work history was not identified.  Another area seems to be the pervasiveness of fake certificates and resumes.
  • Interest in topics such as gamification (especially in the start-up community) and hackathons seem to be growing.
  • There is still a long way to go for HR in using data and analytics as a strong base for decisions.  Predictive modeling is used by very few companies.
  • Attracting employees and leaders globally due to growth and acquisition in new geographies seems to be a topic of growing importance.
  • Skill building and employability in schools and organizations were seen as important areas to ensure continuous availability of quality talent.  Working together in teams and leadership development were seen as active areas for improvement and development at all stages (recent post on employability ).
  • Under the new Companies Act, certain class of profitable entities are required to spend at least two per cent of their three-year annual average net profit towards CSR activities.  This seems to hold promise for development activities.
  • The Nasscom report specifying salary difference between men and women being almost a third, was shared.  Looks like companies in India have to dig deeper into this topic and work out related actions.
  • Among notable missing topics from my perspective was neuroscience/brain studies and impact on leadership and organizations.  It would also have been useful to hear about how investors look at HR/leadership practices, global perspectives and references to topics like mindfulness or status/impact of the occupational health area.

It is obvious that managing through fast paced changes happening outside and inside organizations requires a continuous learning and improvement mindset.  The strong link to global business and competitive environment leaves little room for complacence.  This holds many opportunities for HR and also requires intensive, focused effort to upgrade competencies and mindset.

In my observation, HR in the IT/ITeS sector seems to have progressed faster due to heavy reliability on human capital development, fast growth, global acquisitions, diverse client base and connectedness.  That said, most professionals and experts seem to acknowledge that a lot of work is still needed.

Best wishes to you and your teams.

If I have missed something or you have a different perspective, please comment.

Please do note that IT/ITeS HR represents only one part of India HR.

 

Paradoxes for HR

A paradox could be defined as a statement which seems to say two opposite things but that may be true.

Figuring out and reasoning through a paradox is an important and valuable exercise, for any individual or team.  I personally find them as extremely useful avenues to stretch, question and clarify my own thinking, logic and approach.

The idea of writing a blog post on this topic came as I was reading, “HR From The Outside In” (authored by RBL Group experts, including Dr. Dave Ulrich).  The following paradoxes from the book seem to be relevant for any HR team to figure out, in your respective organizational context.  From personal experiences, the lack of clarity and active dialogue can lead to confusing scenarios, frustration and stress within organizations.  Getting caught in ‘no man’s’ land becomes a reality.

Some of these may be highly relevant for leadership discussions and decision scenarios.

 

6 paradoxes facing HR

 

  • Outside & Inside
    How do you simultaneously understand the dynamics and operate in the marketplace and the workplace?
  • Business & People
    How do you balance the tradeoff between people and business? Many discussions in recent times have suggested that HR is losing the ‘Human’ in ‘Human Resources’.  On the other side, I’ve heard leaders say that HR is too ‘soft’.
  • Organization & Individual
    How do you manage the tensions between talent and teamwork, individual ability and organizational capability? In today’s environment, there are lots of discussions regarding ‘outliers’ and the value they bring to an organization.  An overemphasis may lead to a feeling of unfairness, frustration and disruption of shared values.
  • Process & Event
    How do you look beyond isolated activities and events to processes that generate sustainable solutions?
  • Future & Past
    How do you balance the past and the future – rely on the past for present choices or ignore the past?
  • Strategic & Administrative
    How do you balance flawless execution of administrative actions with strategic adaptation to future business scenarios? One common discussion and frustration I’ve encountered within HR organizations is regarding where the ‘strategic’ line is drawn, how and who are involved, and to what extent.

An interesting observation here seems to be that there are relationships to be considered among these paradoxes, e.g., balancing the tradeoffs between business and people may need to take into consideration the future and past. According to the authors, HR must learn to master these paradoxes – which means that HR professionals and departments are effective only when they can deliver simultaneous outcomes.  Relevant HR competencies help HR professionals to increase their effectiveness.

If you can build clarity through an active dialogue with yourself, your teams regarding your thinking, core principles and approach, you have a solid, starting base.  This should ideally be an active, continuing and evolving dialogue, in any organization consdering constantly changing external environments and demands.

Where do you and your HR departments stand on these paradoxes?

Suggested reading:

  • Book – “HR From The Outside In – Six Competencies for the Future of Human Resources”; Dave Ulrich, Jon Younger, Wayne Brockbank, Mike Ulrich; McGraw Hill.

Leadership Transitions In Organizations…Missed Opportunities, Lots of Pain

While interacting with people at various levels of organizations, I’m often surprised by the lack of support for fundamental leadership transitions in organizations.  Unfortunately, the pain is often not just felt by the individual who is going through the transition but also her/his team members, colleagues and the business overall.  There have been many studies and perspectives on this topic but this still seems to be missing sufficient attention and systematic approach in many organizations.

Leadership transitions can happen at multiple levels, including personal and organizational.  My focus here is on the organizational transition aspect.    McKinsey research shows that 40 percent of new executive transitions are declared failures after 18 months.  According to them, 68 percent of transition failures happen because of the information new executives use, the sequence they follow, and the manner in which they engage – or fail to engage – those around them.  According to CEB, direct reports of successfully transitioning leaders are 15% more effective at their own jobs than the average, and 21% less prone to attrition.  More than 70% of executives are not effective at supporting new-to-role peers and managers.

From personal experiences and observations, these are complex environments with changes for everyone involved and may lead to multiple issues quickly.  The social and emotional context have to addressed very early.  Clarity needs to be built through active dialogue.  If not, trust and performance could erode quickly.

One could also look at these organizational leadership transitions from multiple perspectives.  We’ll look at two interesting ones from different angles.

Stephen Drotter and Ram Charan developed a six passage model called Leadership Pipeline.  According to them, these six turns or passages are major events in the life of a leader.  They are:
1. Managing Self to Managing Others
2. Managing Others to Managing Managers
3. Managing Managers to Managing A Function
4. Functional Manager to Business Manager (responsible for bottom line)
5. Business Manager to Group Manager (multiple businesses)
6. Group Manager to Enterprise Manager 

Prof. Michael Watkins shares seven transitions that good leaders must make while moving from a functional leader to a general manager:
1. Specialist to Generalist
2. Analyst to Integrator
3. Tactician to Strategist
4. Bricklayer to Architect
5. Problem-solver to Agenda-setter.
6. Warrior to Diplomat.
7. Supporting cast to Lead role.
According to him, leaders fail in such transitions  because they don’t go back into a learning mode.

Irrespective of whether you see all these transitions relevant to your organizational context, it is important to recognize and build your necessary organizational support and development system.  In my view, there seems to be at least two transitions that you absolutely cannot afford to miss or ignore, in any organizational size or context:
1. Transition from Individual contributor to Managing others, and
2. Transition from an Individual manager to Managing multiple managers

Leaders and HR teams have to be very aware of these topics and act proactively to provide adequate support in terms of processes, practices and development programs.  Ideally, an organizational system (even a simple one) that supports leadership transitions across the board should be in place.  Successful or unsuccessful leadership transitions will have huge impact on your employees and your organization’s success.  At an individual level, you could also reflect on the ‘passage’ you are in currently, the actions most needed to ensure successful progress and also start building for the future.  Best wishes…

References/Suggested Additional Reading:
1. BUILDING LEADERS AT EVERY LEVEL: A LEADERSHIP PIPELINE, Stephen J. Drotter, Ram Charan, May/June 2001
2. SEVEN TRANSITIONS GOOD LEADERS MUST MAKE, Professor Michael D. Watkins, June 2012
3. Changing Jobs?, Tojo Eapen, February 2010
4. What Got You Here Won’t Get You There (Book), Marshall Goldsmith.  
The 20 Bad Habits.

 

“In the end, it is important to remember that we cannot become what we need to be, by remaining what we are.” – Max DePree, Leadership Is An Art

Who Would You Hire For A Leadership Role?

During my travel to Delhi and  Gurgaon last week, I was grateful to meet few friends and colleagues from the past, and learn about their personal experiences, which included positive and challenging ones.  One theme that stood out during past weeks is the ‘richness and wisdom of life experiences’.  My personal experiences may also have led to the topic.

That raised a question and thinking in my mind:

“Who would you hire for a leadership role? ” 

Would you look for someone with a wide range and depth of personal life experiences, especially tough ones (in addition to the ‘non-negotiable competencies’ for the role)?  If failure, disappointment or grief have not been a part of those, then the character and resolve have not been tested or developed sufficiently.  It would also be worthwhile to search for how one has progressed through those experiences, managed, learned and evolved from it.

Life experiences come in various forms involving a range of emotions, challenges and evolution.  Challenging life experiences are the ones that truly test and build one’s character.  They also hold the potential to break down a person’s resolve and few may find it extremely hard to recover.  Many find new ways of coping and managing, with partial or continued recovery.

Couple of key elements of life experiences are depth and variety.   When one goes through the deep emotions, feelings and can emerge from there, there seems to be a stronger emergence with transformation.  In such cases, there seems to be a process of reflection through pain, adjustment, resolve, action and feeling of personal growth.  Some people choose to do very different work that involves high personal meaning and less tangible rewards, while walking away from lucrative jobs.

Noticeable traits of individuals who have gone through tough life experiences and have evolved are a strong Resolve and Calmness in the face of hardship and adversity, Humility (which comes with the realization that not everything is in one’s control, difficult things can happen to anyone), Respect (including empathy for other human beings), Openness (to exploring), strong Internal Value System and high Spiritual Intelligence/Quotient (strong belief system to help navigate through good and difficult times).  Have you noticed others?

These factors would apply for any roles but leadership roles are crucial for any organization, especially non-profits and in government.  Leaders can influence and impact the flow of emotions within a team or organization in a substantial manner.  Awareness, wisdom and maturity are important and they are mainly developed through varied life experiences (not necessarily with age).  Some people learn and others choose not to learn and evolve.  The pace of evolution can be different.

I leave you with the following reflection from Northwestern University’s Centre for Leadership web page:

“As a leader, one of the most important things you can do is to thoughtfully reflect upon your most challenging experiences (Leadership Crucibles) to understand what they can teach you.  In the book, “Finding Your True North” the authors write that crucibles are times when you come face-to-face with yourself and recognize that…during the most difficult times of your life … you have the opportunity to confront who you are at the deepest level and realize what your life – and your leadership – are about. By digging deeper into your life story, you will have the opportunity to focus on the crucial aspects that can help you unlock your development as a leader.”

Wish you the very best.

“I’m proud of the scars in my soul.  They remind me that I have an intense life.” – Paulo Coelho

Personal Resilience in Tough Times – Finding One’s Way Back

Dedicated to my mother, Aleyamma Eapen.
I started thinking about writing on this topic as my mother passed away last week.

According to ‘Merriam-Webster’, ‘resilience‘ can be defined as the ability to become strong, healthy, or successful again after something bad happens.

Everyone inevitably goes through difficult personal scenarios at some point in life. These may include passing away of or losing dear ones, losing  jobs or security, personal relationships, illness or disease and unforeseen disappointments. They may also  result in instances where one questions and tries to find the meaning of one’s existence and life.  A whole host of issues and challenges seem to emerge in these situations. Sometimes, people around can act in ways that could be surprising, confusing and disappointing. One may encounter loneliness, lack of social support and various other social and personal challenges.

How can we build personal resilience?

Most times, we go along happily with our lives until one of these scenarios hits us badly and takes us by surprise. Even though we may not be able to prevent some things from happening, it helps to be aware and also respectful of others going through similar stages in life. A bit of empathy and support can go a long way and also helps with the recovery process for the person involved.

Every individual has her or his own way of coping with challenges, pain and finding the way back. Solutions may be unique and relevant to one’s own preferences. That said, it does help to learn and understand tried and tested methods of finding a way back to normalcy.  In tough times, it is not easy to think with a clear head.

I wanted to share few actions that I found helpful. If you have experienced some of these, please do share for the benefit of others around. There may be more people around than you think, working through life challenges.

  1. When everything around seems to whirl out of control, it helps to find one’s space of calm and peaceful reflection through prayers, meditation, breathing exercises and focus on one’s core belief systems. Having a spiritual belief system helped me find meaning and peace in difficulty. It’s still important to acknowledge that there will be an up and down process.
  2. For those going through the loss of a dear one, allowing for grieving time and finding the path towards acceptance is an important process with varying timelines. Understanding the stages of loss and grief, and allowing oneself adequate time to progress through these stages is important. Being compassionate and forgiving to oneself during the recovery process is also valuable.
  3. Focusing on the positives helps shift the mind to a healthier direction. A lot of thoughts go through one’s head during difficult times and it is easy to get stuck in a negative pool. If one can be conscious of this and find few things to be grateful and thankful for (redefine the “bad” in terms of potential “goods”), in spite of the difficulties, they help make a difference. The mindset can be important. Research from Carol Dweck of Stanford emphasizes the importance of having a growth mindset, rather than a fixed mindset.
  4. Having a helpful social support group, in the form of close friends, relatives, colleagues, professionals or individuals with a high emotional and spiritual quotient can make a huge difference. It helps for the closest support group to be available and present, sometimes just to be present with a listening ear or a hug (even virtually).
  5. Getting some momentum towards core areas of interest and meaningful impact is helpful.  It helps to move forward with a purpose, even in baby steps, whatever engages one’s mind with positive action. For me currently, focusing on completing this blog post, working with a friend on transitioning to a new blog page, helped to take my mind off difficult thoughts and focus on something meaningful for me.

These notes of course do not replace the need for professional support when needed and it is important to recognize when one feels the need, and act accordingly.

If we can reflect, learn and find our meaning from difficult life scenarios, we can grow stronger mentally, wiser, more compassionate towards ourselves and others in difficult environments.

Personal resilience is extremely important during difficult times.

How can you help build personal resilience and help individuals around you?

Life is precious. It helps to count our blessings and make a meaningful difference.  Wish you the best.

I also take this opportunity to thank the beautiful, generous souls near and far who have and are supporting me through difficult times. Thank you very much….

Suggested additional reading:
Life After Loss: Conquering Grief and Finding Hope by Raymond Moody and Dianne Arcangel (Book)

Whoever saves one life, saves the world entire. – Schindler’s List

Fundamental Question to Ask Yourself in Any Interaction

We have all sensed, acted or reacted based on this and would think it makes sense, even if it may be unconscious during our interactions.  Most expert communicators and socially intelligent people have inherently known and used this approach.  Thanks to neuroscience research, the findings provide a solid reason to understand this.The fundamental question to ask yourself in any interaction:

AM I CREATING A “TOWARD” (APPROACH) STATE OR “AWAY” (AVOID) STATE IN MY INTERACTIONS?

This applies to any interaction in our world of work and personal relationships.

According to neuroscience studies:

  • Our brains are more tuned to picking up threats in the environment and the threat response is easily triggered.
  • It is easier to cause aggravation than it is to help other think rationally and creatively.
  • In the threat state, our brain is disengaged due to related activity and ‘noise’, resulting in reduced cognitive performance. There is also a high possibility of an “emotional hijack”. We also know that emotions are contagious and can spread.
  • The organizing, overarching principle of the brain is to minimize danger (threat state) and maximize rewards (towards state).
  • If a stimulus is associated with positive emotions, it will most likely lead to an approach response; if it is associated with negative emotions, it will lead to an avoid response.  From our experiences, we know that we naturally try to avoid uncomfortable interactions, situations or difficult people.
  • An approach response is synonymous with the idea of engagement and closely linked to positive emotions.

So next time you think about starting a conversation in person, over the phone or virtually, ask yourself: Do I want to create a “towards” (approach) state or an “away” (avoid) state? How can I create a “towards” state?

In the world around you, what percentage of “towards” state interactions vs. “away” state interactions do you notice?

Reference, Recommended Reading:
SCARF…, David Rock: http://www.your-brain-at-work.com/files/NLJ_SCARFUS.pdf

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